![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Farrah hates Sundays.
Sunday means the weekends over, and Rina has to go back to Japan to get ready for school, or Farrah has to leave so Rina can go to school. Sunday means she’s not going to get to see her girlfriend for a whole week, or even two, depending on Rina’s schedule. Farrah likes to say she’s independent, that she’s fine on her own, and that she doesn’t need anyone but herself— but her family knows better. Farrah went a long time feeling misunderstood, lonely, and unloved. Now that she’d gotten a taste of what it was like to be loved, valued, and nurtured, she clung desperately to her loved ones. But Rina has a whole life outside of Farrah, with friends and family and school idols, back in Japan. And Farrah has her own, new found family to make up for lost time with. There’s music to learn, and adventures to go on, and cheers to be done. She knows there’s a meaning to the distance in their relationship—- but none of that keeps her from hating Sundays any less. None of that gets her off the couch after Rina’s gone, where she lays for hours sulking, wearing one of Rina’s hoodies.
Sure, she has her family to keep her busy. Farrah has four different dads, in multiple universes, and she has Annleigh, and even Varian, who commiserates with Farrah on the loss of Rina at the end of the weekends. It’s not like Farrah’s ever alone.
But there’s something about the way it feels to be with Rina, that she can’t shake, that has her miserable on Sunday evenings, and bouncing off the walls with excitement on Fridays. Rina’s gentle, soothing voice— the way she says things that surprise Farrah and make her roar with laughter. The way Rina always knows just when to hold her hand, when Farrah’s starting to feel sad, or scared. The way she talks about her friends and their idol work, with such seriousness and pride, that you’d think she was discussing something life or death. All of those things about Rina fill Farrah’s heart with a giddy, bursting kind of excitement and joy, and when she’s gone, Farrah feels the absence so potently that she feels like she’ll never be happy again.
But then the next visit happens, and she feels it again, that giddy feeling, like her hearts doing cartwheels. And when she hears Rina’s stories about her time at school, or her latest idol escapades, or what she and Varian did on their own last—- Farrah knows it’s worth it. When Rina gets that look on her face—- mistaken as distance by some, but what Farrah knows is pride—- when Farrah fills her in on her latest adventure or shows her a new cheer routine, Farrah knows it’s worth it. Sundays may suck. But seeing the girl you love, and knowing she’s chasing her dreams and living her best life? That’s a whole different kind of heart swelling feeling.
Farrah just can’t wait for the day when their dreams align again, when they can finally be together all of the time. Until then? She’ll keep hating Sundays.
Farrah's Room
Jul. 28th, 2021 01:42 pmFarrah's Room
Farrah's bedroom is styled a little differently from the rest of the estate. A modern room, for a modern teen! She's shied away from any kind of vaguely historical notions that the room held previously-- except for the one big bay window, which she has embraced. There are glitter lightswitches!
The walls are navy and hot pink, but there's still a lot of light from the windows. She may be a tired teen, but she needs her sunlight! Her curtains are sheer, and embroidered with butterflies, and she has mobiles of daisies and butterflies, and twinkle-lights hanging from her ceiling.
On the right side of the room, her bed is tucked into a corner, with colorful bedding and lots of pillows. There's a trundle that pulls out for guests. The walls around her bed have been completely collaged in fun quotes and art from magazines, photos of her friends and as Rina's influence on her grows, more and more sailor moon fanart.
On the left side of the room, is a very cushion-y, padded corner. There are lots of extra pillows and floor pillows here, too, and a table that's low to the ground so she can both lounge on the floor, and have snacks on the table at the same time. She hangs out here a lot, either when Rina's over (her TV is on a rolling cart nearby, that also holds any gaming consoles they need), or with Hester when Hester's home for the summer, or just to chill out with her family. It's normally pretty messy, with blankets and magazines and comic books and plush toys. During the winter, this area probably swaps out to a kotatsu.
Back towards the door, her desk is tucked away, bright teal and pink, and rarely used for anything other than storage. It's normally covered in magazines and cosmetics. The wall near this area also holds her jewelry and accessories, neatly organized, because at least one part of the room has to be.
It's probably pretty messy in here, with clothes all over the place, spilling out of the closet onto the floor, whatever she was working on abandoned in various states of completion, and probably like, 20 cups at any given time. The only part of the room that remains meticulously clean is Soup's indoor rabbit cage, because Farrah's a great rabbit mom.
Farrah's bedroom is styled a little differently from the rest of the estate. A modern room, for a modern teen! She's shied away from any kind of vaguely historical notions that the room held previously-- except for the one big bay window, which she has embraced. There are glitter lightswitches!
The walls are navy and hot pink, but there's still a lot of light from the windows. She may be a tired teen, but she needs her sunlight! Her curtains are sheer, and embroidered with butterflies, and she has mobiles of daisies and butterflies, and twinkle-lights hanging from her ceiling.
On the right side of the room, her bed is tucked into a corner, with colorful bedding and lots of pillows. There's a trundle that pulls out for guests. The walls around her bed have been completely collaged in fun quotes and art from magazines, photos of her friends and as Rina's influence on her grows, more and more sailor moon fanart.
On the left side of the room, is a very cushion-y, padded corner. There are lots of extra pillows and floor pillows here, too, and a table that's low to the ground so she can both lounge on the floor, and have snacks on the table at the same time. She hangs out here a lot, either when Rina's over (her TV is on a rolling cart nearby, that also holds any gaming consoles they need), or with Hester when Hester's home for the summer, or just to chill out with her family. It's normally pretty messy, with blankets and magazines and comic books and plush toys. During the winter, this area probably swaps out to a kotatsu.
Back towards the door, her desk is tucked away, bright teal and pink, and rarely used for anything other than storage. It's normally covered in magazines and cosmetics. The wall near this area also holds her jewelry and accessories, neatly organized, because at least one part of the room has to be.
It's probably pretty messy in here, with clothes all over the place, spilling out of the closet onto the floor, whatever she was working on abandoned in various states of completion, and probably like, 20 cups at any given time. The only part of the room that remains meticulously clean is Soup's indoor rabbit cage, because Farrah's a great rabbit mom.
(no subject)
Jul. 5th, 2021 02:45 amAnnleigh snores, and Farrah kicks in her sleep, though both of them claim that they don’t. The first time they sleep in the same bed is on a family vacation, and Annleigh steals all the blankets. When Farrah tells Clark that he should watch out, because his future wife snores and is a blanket thief, Annleigh says she’s not going to speak to her for a week. But Clark laughs and just says that he’ll buy earplugs and have extra blankets around, and Annleigh only loves him more. Farrah too, because she’s charmed how much he loves her new sister.
She wishes she were with her now.
The Balladeer watches over her, while she sleeps off the booze on the gym floor, the night after Connor’s trial. No one’s ever done that for her. Mostly, when she’s drunk, people yell at her, or draw on her face with marker, or just ignore her altogether. But not B. He makes sure she’s taken care of, even brings her a blanket and lets her use his jacket as a pillow. When she wakes up about an hour later, he’s still there, and she doesn’t feel nearly as sick as she should have. And through a single wine-nap Farrah begins to learn what it’s like, to rely on others, and have them actually show up.
When she sees him after the fall, with much worse than a concussion, she wishes he’d left her under the bleachers. Her heart breaks a little.
Varian and Farrah both kick in their sleep. They’re constantly rolling around, fighting for the blankets, and Farrah always ends up on Varian’s pillow, getting drool on it. Whenever either of them bumps into Rina in the night, though, they relax. It’s like her warm, soft form reminds them to chill out and just sleep. The first time she wakes up in the night screaming, Rina-chan board says NO BAD DREAMS, and the nights Farrah spends curled up with them are the most peaceful nights she has.
It’s only after they’re gone that she realizes how peaceful they were.
Salieri doesn’t know it, but he talks in his sleep. She’s only heard it a few times, because the man never sleeps— but whenever he does, she tries to trick him into having full conversations with her. Discord catches her one night, and joins in, and they accidentally wake him, because Farrah’s laughing so hard.
She falls asleep the fastest beside him. It’s easy to— he puts her mind at ease, and soothes the late night worries that slip into her mind just before sleep. He tucks her in at night, and she always marvels at the fact that he actually tucks the blankets in around her. She never knew that was an actual thing that people did. She drifts to sleep easily with him at her side, humming gentle melodies to ease her to sleep, and brushing her hair gently. And when she wakes up screaming, she can count on either he or Discord already being awake most of the time, to coax her back to sleep again.
She had dismissed Discord as too skinny and bony to be comfortable to cuddle up to— but he’s actually not that bad. His height makes it easy for her to curl up into a ball next to him and feel completely protected, and he’s always good for a laugh. She doesn’t catch him sleeping often, either, but she does one time, and catches Salieri looking at him. The look on her dad’s face makes her feel happy—- like the three of them are going to be okay, like he has someone grown up he can trust. Then, she recruits him to put as many of her stuffed toys on Discord until he wakes up. They run out of absurd cat plushies before he does, and Farrah wakes the next morning when Discord realizes he’s under a plush toy mountain and bolts up, knocking them all onto her.
She never catches both of them asleep when she’s awake. Not unless you count—
Benji makes her feel safe too, but in a different way than Salieri. While Salieri keeps her heart and dreams safe, Benji guards her physically. Even though it’s a tight fit, and a little uncomfortable, Farrah likes to sleep in that bed that’s already too small for him, between him and the wall. She knows that no matter what comes through that door—- cheerleaders or wizards or giant bears, Benj will protect her from them all. The nightmares still come— but it’s easy to remember they’re not real, when she has such a giant man to protect her, to pet her hair and mutter gentle words until she falls back asleep. Farrah knows he’s tougher than he looks—- and he already looks pretty tough. But she also knows she can trust him, with her entire life.
She can never tell if he’s actually sleeping or not, but she knows that he seems to relax more when she’s near. So she’s more than happy to gravitate to his side, even before he was the only rock she had left to hold— and even more so after that.
She can only pray she doesn’t crumble him too.
She wishes she were with her now.
The Balladeer watches over her, while she sleeps off the booze on the gym floor, the night after Connor’s trial. No one’s ever done that for her. Mostly, when she’s drunk, people yell at her, or draw on her face with marker, or just ignore her altogether. But not B. He makes sure she’s taken care of, even brings her a blanket and lets her use his jacket as a pillow. When she wakes up about an hour later, he’s still there, and she doesn’t feel nearly as sick as she should have. And through a single wine-nap Farrah begins to learn what it’s like, to rely on others, and have them actually show up.
When she sees him after the fall, with much worse than a concussion, she wishes he’d left her under the bleachers. Her heart breaks a little.
Varian and Farrah both kick in their sleep. They’re constantly rolling around, fighting for the blankets, and Farrah always ends up on Varian’s pillow, getting drool on it. Whenever either of them bumps into Rina in the night, though, they relax. It’s like her warm, soft form reminds them to chill out and just sleep. The first time she wakes up in the night screaming, Rina-chan board says NO BAD DREAMS, and the nights Farrah spends curled up with them are the most peaceful nights she has.
It’s only after they’re gone that she realizes how peaceful they were.
Salieri doesn’t know it, but he talks in his sleep. She’s only heard it a few times, because the man never sleeps— but whenever he does, she tries to trick him into having full conversations with her. Discord catches her one night, and joins in, and they accidentally wake him, because Farrah’s laughing so hard.
She falls asleep the fastest beside him. It’s easy to— he puts her mind at ease, and soothes the late night worries that slip into her mind just before sleep. He tucks her in at night, and she always marvels at the fact that he actually tucks the blankets in around her. She never knew that was an actual thing that people did. She drifts to sleep easily with him at her side, humming gentle melodies to ease her to sleep, and brushing her hair gently. And when she wakes up screaming, she can count on either he or Discord already being awake most of the time, to coax her back to sleep again.
She had dismissed Discord as too skinny and bony to be comfortable to cuddle up to— but he’s actually not that bad. His height makes it easy for her to curl up into a ball next to him and feel completely protected, and he’s always good for a laugh. She doesn’t catch him sleeping often, either, but she does one time, and catches Salieri looking at him. The look on her dad’s face makes her feel happy—- like the three of them are going to be okay, like he has someone grown up he can trust. Then, she recruits him to put as many of her stuffed toys on Discord until he wakes up. They run out of absurd cat plushies before he does, and Farrah wakes the next morning when Discord realizes he’s under a plush toy mountain and bolts up, knocking them all onto her.
She never catches both of them asleep when she’s awake. Not unless you count—
Benji makes her feel safe too, but in a different way than Salieri. While Salieri keeps her heart and dreams safe, Benji guards her physically. Even though it’s a tight fit, and a little uncomfortable, Farrah likes to sleep in that bed that’s already too small for him, between him and the wall. She knows that no matter what comes through that door—- cheerleaders or wizards or giant bears, Benj will protect her from them all. The nightmares still come— but it’s easy to remember they’re not real, when she has such a giant man to protect her, to pet her hair and mutter gentle words until she falls back asleep. Farrah knows he’s tougher than he looks—- and he already looks pretty tough. But she also knows she can trust him, with her entire life.
She can never tell if he’s actually sleeping or not, but she knows that he seems to relax more when she’s near. So she’s more than happy to gravitate to his side, even before he was the only rock she had left to hold— and even more so after that.
She can only pray she doesn’t crumble him too.
(no subject)
Jul. 3rd, 2021 08:37 pmFarrah has nightmares. Dark dreams of that night in the bathroom—- of ponytails and blank gazes and of the knife, that awful knife, hitting her again and again, and all she can do is scream.
The screaming in the dreams often times turns into screaming in real life, and it’s not at all uncommon for Farrah to bolt up in the middle of the night, yelling, and ready to run from the next blow.
For that short period of time, after the sleepover, when she could slip into bed with Varian and Rina, things were better. She still had nightmares, they still woke her—- but it was easier to fall asleep after, and she found that she wasn’t actually screaming. That was only a few days, though, and after she watches Varian fall into his own eternal sleep, Farrah finds it impossible to get a night’s peaceful sleep again.
She’s eternally grateful when Salieri pushes the two beds together, and sandwiches her between him and Discord. But it is still not easy. All too often, she wakes up, once, twice, sometimes even three times, screaming—- shooting upright in the night, like if she moves quickly enough, she might avoid Riley’s next swing. But there’s almost always one of them, sometimes both; there beside her, to say gentle or funny words, to brush her hair back and tuck the blankets around her again. To make sure she’s safe.
Tonight, though, when she wakes up screaming, the bed(s) are empty. Across the room, Janis is snoring in a pile with Peregrine and Maya, which seems to have spared them the alarm. Farrah slides her hand under her pillow, to reassure herself that the knife is still there, where it can’t hurt her, then wordlessly she slips out of bed.
As she wraps the blanket around her shoulders, and moves to step over Elle’s sleeping form, Angus is starting to stir. He makes to sit up— but Bruiser’s on his chest, which kind of complicates that. “Farrah?” He asks, and she waves her hand dismissively at him before he can move the tiny dog, or further disturb Elle.
“I’m okay. I’ll be back.”
He nods, and settles back in with Elle, and Farrah, with her blanket settled around her shoulders like a cape, and Rum Tum Tugger tucked under her arm, sets off into the school.
She checks the band room first, and it’s empty. She contemplates sitting down at the piano, to try and see if the keys lift her spirits, but she’s still feeling uneasy at being left alone. Every doorway feels like it might have Riley looming behind it, every shadow turning into a new hiding place. She already regrets getting up and leaving the room where there might at least be safety in numbers—- why didn’t she at least bring the knife with her? At least she’d have some sort of protection then. She keeps moving through the halls, terrified, when she finally hears the murmur of familiar voices, coming from the library.
She enters quietly—- so quiet that they don’t even hear her at first, bent over their game of chess. Salieri’s grumbling about something that Discord’s done, some kind of sin against the game of chess, and Discord’s trying to defend his play with a righteous “Well, the pony rules the castle—“
“For the last time, it is a knight—“ Salieri retorts back, which is when Farrah decides to make her presence known. You know. Before the chess tension boils over and she witnesses something she can never unsee.
“Dad?”
She has to bite her tongue to hold back the smile and laughter when they both respond to that, nearly bopping heads in a rush to both look upon her at the same time. Then Salieri gives Discord a quick look, and Discord just quirks a brow, and suddenly, Salieri is up on his feet, making his way to her. She meets him part way, and he sets a hand on her shoulder, ushering her to sit down at one of the tables with them.
“What are you doing up?” He asks, his voice both urgent and kind at the same time, as Discord sets a newly hot cup of tea in front of her.
“Bad dream.” She mumbles, her voice still groggy, either from exhaustion or fear. She honestly doesn’t know which. Discord just nods knowingly, while Salieri’s face briefly tightens, trying not to show anger or concern for the monsters that haunt her each night. Farrah, for what it’s worth, sips the tea, already feeling warmer and safer now that she’s joined them. “What are you guys doing up?”
“Ah, we were just—“ Salieri starts, while Discord whips the entire chessboard off the table, like a cat. While Salieri looks at him in frustrated awe, Discord announces—
“Fuck Chess.”
Which of course makes Farrah dissolve into laughter, which in turn makes Salieri feel a little less frustrated with the destruction that’s been wracked upon his chess set. A little. He bends to pick it up from the floor, while Farrah huddles in her blanket cape, watching Discord snap an entire spray of glitter into existence. The glitter only serves to frustrate Salieri more—- but it makes Farrah laugh harder, so he decides it must be at least somewhat tolerable. Once he’s finished picking up all the pieces, with no help from Discord, and Farrah’s finished her cup of tea, he clears his throat.
“Well. Let’s get you back in bed.” He says, trying to hide a smile when Farrah whines loudly in protest.
“I can stay up, I can stay up with—-“ She yawns mid-protest, and his hand finds her shoulder once more.
“No. It’s late enough already. And I’ve had enough of this game for one night. I think it’s time we all get some rest.”
Farrah, realizing that means she’s not heading back alone, nods, and with his arm wrapped around her shoulder, slowly gets back up.
“Yeah. I guess I could—- Discord?”
Discord stands too, wearing his typical care free expression. “Well, I’m not tired, but I might as well make sure you two don’t get lost.”
Farrah flashes a bright smile at him, before yawning again, and allowing herself to be led outside of the library. This time, she’s not afraid of the shadows, or of knives that haunt her dreams. With Salieri’s arm wrapped around her, and Discord walking closely behind the two, she’s perfectly safe.
The screaming in the dreams often times turns into screaming in real life, and it’s not at all uncommon for Farrah to bolt up in the middle of the night, yelling, and ready to run from the next blow.
For that short period of time, after the sleepover, when she could slip into bed with Varian and Rina, things were better. She still had nightmares, they still woke her—- but it was easier to fall asleep after, and she found that she wasn’t actually screaming. That was only a few days, though, and after she watches Varian fall into his own eternal sleep, Farrah finds it impossible to get a night’s peaceful sleep again.
She’s eternally grateful when Salieri pushes the two beds together, and sandwiches her between him and Discord. But it is still not easy. All too often, she wakes up, once, twice, sometimes even three times, screaming—- shooting upright in the night, like if she moves quickly enough, she might avoid Riley’s next swing. But there’s almost always one of them, sometimes both; there beside her, to say gentle or funny words, to brush her hair back and tuck the blankets around her again. To make sure she’s safe.
Tonight, though, when she wakes up screaming, the bed(s) are empty. Across the room, Janis is snoring in a pile with Peregrine and Maya, which seems to have spared them the alarm. Farrah slides her hand under her pillow, to reassure herself that the knife is still there, where it can’t hurt her, then wordlessly she slips out of bed.
As she wraps the blanket around her shoulders, and moves to step over Elle’s sleeping form, Angus is starting to stir. He makes to sit up— but Bruiser’s on his chest, which kind of complicates that. “Farrah?” He asks, and she waves her hand dismissively at him before he can move the tiny dog, or further disturb Elle.
“I’m okay. I’ll be back.”
He nods, and settles back in with Elle, and Farrah, with her blanket settled around her shoulders like a cape, and Rum Tum Tugger tucked under her arm, sets off into the school.
She checks the band room first, and it’s empty. She contemplates sitting down at the piano, to try and see if the keys lift her spirits, but she’s still feeling uneasy at being left alone. Every doorway feels like it might have Riley looming behind it, every shadow turning into a new hiding place. She already regrets getting up and leaving the room where there might at least be safety in numbers—- why didn’t she at least bring the knife with her? At least she’d have some sort of protection then. She keeps moving through the halls, terrified, when she finally hears the murmur of familiar voices, coming from the library.
She enters quietly—- so quiet that they don’t even hear her at first, bent over their game of chess. Salieri’s grumbling about something that Discord’s done, some kind of sin against the game of chess, and Discord’s trying to defend his play with a righteous “Well, the pony rules the castle—“
“For the last time, it is a knight—“ Salieri retorts back, which is when Farrah decides to make her presence known. You know. Before the chess tension boils over and she witnesses something she can never unsee.
“Dad?”
She has to bite her tongue to hold back the smile and laughter when they both respond to that, nearly bopping heads in a rush to both look upon her at the same time. Then Salieri gives Discord a quick look, and Discord just quirks a brow, and suddenly, Salieri is up on his feet, making his way to her. She meets him part way, and he sets a hand on her shoulder, ushering her to sit down at one of the tables with them.
“What are you doing up?” He asks, his voice both urgent and kind at the same time, as Discord sets a newly hot cup of tea in front of her.
“Bad dream.” She mumbles, her voice still groggy, either from exhaustion or fear. She honestly doesn’t know which. Discord just nods knowingly, while Salieri’s face briefly tightens, trying not to show anger or concern for the monsters that haunt her each night. Farrah, for what it’s worth, sips the tea, already feeling warmer and safer now that she’s joined them. “What are you guys doing up?”
“Ah, we were just—“ Salieri starts, while Discord whips the entire chessboard off the table, like a cat. While Salieri looks at him in frustrated awe, Discord announces—
“Fuck Chess.”
Which of course makes Farrah dissolve into laughter, which in turn makes Salieri feel a little less frustrated with the destruction that’s been wracked upon his chess set. A little. He bends to pick it up from the floor, while Farrah huddles in her blanket cape, watching Discord snap an entire spray of glitter into existence. The glitter only serves to frustrate Salieri more—- but it makes Farrah laugh harder, so he decides it must be at least somewhat tolerable. Once he’s finished picking up all the pieces, with no help from Discord, and Farrah’s finished her cup of tea, he clears his throat.
“Well. Let’s get you back in bed.” He says, trying to hide a smile when Farrah whines loudly in protest.
“I can stay up, I can stay up with—-“ She yawns mid-protest, and his hand finds her shoulder once more.
“No. It’s late enough already. And I’ve had enough of this game for one night. I think it’s time we all get some rest.”
Farrah, realizing that means she’s not heading back alone, nods, and with his arm wrapped around her shoulder, slowly gets back up.
“Yeah. I guess I could—- Discord?”
Discord stands too, wearing his typical care free expression. “Well, I’m not tired, but I might as well make sure you two don’t get lost.”
Farrah flashes a bright smile at him, before yawning again, and allowing herself to be led outside of the library. This time, she’s not afraid of the shadows, or of knives that haunt her dreams. With Salieri’s arm wrapped around her, and Discord walking closely behind the two, she’s perfectly safe.
